Miss China’s Kooky Cosmopolitan Cocktail

Since Vodka is Bartender 608’s February Spirit of the Month, I figured I’d place this on for this weeks Drink of the Week.

The Cosmopolitan (The Cosmo.)

The Cosmopolitan hit the scene in the mid to late 1970’s. The locations, origins and variations of the drink have been linked to:

Manhattan, Florida, Minnesota and San Francisco

Although this is a pink drink it can be and is a serious cocktail…

↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔

First, chill your cocktail glass(es) by stowing them in the freezer or by filling it with ice cubes and setting them aside while you prepare The Drink. Choose an above the bottom shelf vodka.  Not every “good cocktail” must have top shelf spirits like Belvidere, Goose or Ketel One, (let’s face it, sometimes it just isn’t in the monthly/weekly budget) but something mid-range like, Svedka, Smirnoff or Stoli is just fine.

Once you’ve selected your vodka, it’s time to grab your Triple Sec.  Again, if you can’t manage to get your hands on Grand Marnier or Cointreau, regular simple Triple Sec will do but, don’t overdo it…

When possible, use fresh lime juice instead of (my favorite) Rose’s lime juice.  Why?  You won’t need the additional sugar that comes with the Roses.

So, now that we’re ready, let’s go!

Miss China’s Kooky Cosmopolitan

One pint glass filled 1/2 with cracked ice
4 oz.  Citrus Vodka
2 oz.  Triple Sec
1 oz.  Fresh Lime Juice
1 Drop of Vanilla Extract
QUICK SPLASH of Red Cranberry Juice

Add all of the above to the pint glass, top with a Boston shaker and shake all ingredients for 7 – 15 seconds.  Just enough to chill and combine all the flavors.

Strain and pour the Kooky Cosmopolitan into your two (2) frosty/chilled cocktail glass; garnish with three (3) thin lime wedges.
Over 21?  Enjoy your non-girly, full flavored martini…

~Miss China Moon

Bartender 608 for Hire

My days at the Brooklyn Dive Bar: “WTF 101”

Sometimes I wonder just how people got through the writing part of the business proposal and still have NO IDEA on how to run a business.  Who the hell would lend them money for an establishment?

I love many of my co workers with the exception of a couple, but I have to say the internal workings and organizational skills of those high on the Totem Pole have a lot to learn.

…and these are people with B.A. and Masters Degrees; WTF?!?  Let’s review some simple things that even community college kids understand:

  1. Got MS Office?  Good.  Now USE IT.  (Excel especially)  Don’t have it or don’t understand it?  HIRE someone who does.  You’re running a business; to make money you have to spend some.  Quit being stingy.  How are you ordering food, wine and spirits – every week- on scratch paper?  WTF?!?
  2. This is a business – dive bar or not, we’re sort of a family.  Make sure the staff is on the same page.  I can’t tell you how irritating it is to have things done or said two (2) different ways because us tending the bar are told one thing and the wait staff is told another.  STAFF MEETINGS are key; don’t you WANT us all on the same page so things flow smooth?  WTF?!?
  3. Let us know what the hell is going on.  Please.  Let us know if a DJ, a Live Act, Private Party, etc. is going on so we can tweak and prepare.  I can’t tell you how irritating it is to come in on a day we all know is SLOW just to see the sound guys setting up and the tables are  ‘purtied (prettied) up’.  WTF?!?
  4. If someone rents out the place let them know the rates and any extras, i.e. security, food and of course, they and their patrons are expected to tip the Bar Tenders; open or cash bar.  WTF?!?
  5. I guess it isn’t only Corporate America; hey, I’m an equal opportunist like anyone but come on…  Guys, you are running a business; let your big head do the thinking.  Just because you’re the manager/owner/whatever, banging the new chick who’s tending bar doesn’t mean THE REST OF US have to suffer.  Take care of business – there are more than a few spices pieces of ass with tits who’d love her job. Focus for Gawd’s sake.  WTF?!?

But of course, as I always say; “I just work here.”

Bar Chanx

Why do people think wearing chancletas* to the bar is okay?  I mean, even if it’s not ‘club night’ at the local watering hole chanx are for the beach, running to the bodega right quick, dancing in the street at block parties or, for Bohemian band members.  *smirk*

*chancletas = A word for flip flops or other type of slip on, inexpensive sandal.

My thoughts on any given weekend night working in WI

  • “Hmmm, she REALLY needs to get those roots done.”
  • “Wow, she said thank you!”
  • “Damn, he’s tall.”
  • “DAMN!  He’s short!”
  • “I need 2 Advil liqui-gels…”
  • “That walk-by-farting was un-called for.”
  • “Some bad friend of hers lied to her and said, ‘girl you look good in those – wear THAT!'”
  • “Oh that couple will make a good post later on tonight…”
  • “Please stop kissing @ my bar for 20 consecutive minutes – her lungs need air and my customers need vodka with their olives…”

Friday Night Fights

Being a Bartender like other blue collar Public Service positions, you see people you want to see and then, you see people you DON’T want to see.

Like your regulars who you not only like because they order good quality cocktails and tip well, but, they are actually refreshing to see week after week – after week.  They acknowledge and respect you and look forward to seeing  you just as much as you them.

Then, there are those you see who you have to carry on with your job as if they’re anyone else.  But they’re not.  For example, for the past 2 months a man has come into my bar once a week.  But this man is different – about 12 years ago this man walked in on me being sexually assaulted.  And stayed and watched.

He speaks to me as if I’ve forgotten this; he smiles and tries to shake my hand and smooze with me.  I serve him and his cronies their drinks and he leaves his tip.  He continues to try and speak to me but I’m not trying to hear anything this pendejo has to say except his drink order.

This piece of shit makes my skin crawl.


That is so NOT cute

Spring is in the air; and while everyone is not a size 2; ladies…  Please; wear your size; not your girlfriends size or what you THINK is her size but your own size.  We are tired of seeing chicks come in here with stomachs bigger than their asses.

big girl spilling out her top at the bar

big girl spilling out her top at the bar

…That’s what cinchers and girdles are made for – it’s 2010, not the 60’s where all big girls had available to wear were ‘mu-mu’s’.  The internet and Lane Bryant are made for You AND Me.

Please stop coming into my bar a gyrating all over the ignorant Black guys that you think are so wonderful with their bad attitudes, over sized night gown t-shirts and pocketful of sneaker money.

Just stop it.  It’s not cute.