Sticky Floors as gooey as a movie theatre and a teenage boys magazine stash

You’re drinking; okay.  You’re flirting; fine by me.  You’re dancing and enjoying the music; fuckin’ fan-tab-u-lous.  You’re past tipsy but not quite wasted; I’ll call you a cab if need be.  But why oh WHY do females feel the need to take their shoes off in a bar.  A BAR.  Do you know what’s on the floor in here?  I know what’s lurking back here before we clean up @ night but my goodness…

Chicken wings, fry wedges, GLASS, spills, VOMIT, cigarettes and other QUESTIONABLE LIQUIDS.  That’s just nasty.  If your feet hurt, cop a squat or bring flats in those big ASS purses y’all bring to the place (which I also wonder why THAT is, but I digress…)

It’s nasty; don’t you have any home training?


I can bar tend; I’ve got the boobs

Yes, you read right.  This chick comes in every week.  Decent bar attitude.  Great tipper.  Always speaks but she said something the other day that made me raise an eyebrow.

Yeah, this is Madison WI and we’ve got cornbread er, brat fed females with tits for days but it takes more than a hefty & perky pair of jugs to tend a bar.  Oh I’m sure she does fine at the house parties, but mingling with the general public is a different story.

There’s a bit more to tending bar than just tippin’ the Tap.  You have to be personal.  You have shut your mouth and LISTEN to your patrons who come in.  You have to have some knowledge on the products you carry so that you’re able to suggest something when someone happens to want something different.  And then some.

There’s an abundance of boobs in this here college town and it amazes me; if I remember correctly it takes a 3.2 GPA + community service and more to get in here.  But, the behavior and persona of some of these people, even those in Grad school act like Vanessa from the Cosby show in her girlfriends liquor cabinet.

For a smart business owner, it takes more than cleavage.  It takes speed, accuracy, neatness, street smarts and those WITHOUT a drinking issue to really ‘put it to work’…

Hell-o-ween Dress Unrest

Halloween.  Time to dress up.  Or down.  Or in most cases for the women, undress.

It was a slow night and conversation sparse, but one in particular took place that sounded way to familiar.  Dialogue that takes place every year about this time.  Freak Fest, Ahoy!

To make a long story not so long, a group of Valley Girls were talkin ’bout who they were going as this year.

Why do chicks always make such a big deal about the little dental floss costume they’re going to wear this year.  We need to rename Halloween, “Closet Whore Admiration Day.”  Oh c’mon, that’s all it is people; and you know it.  A lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.  It’s 2008 and by peoples behavior in the bar, they, well, let’s just say nothing’s forbidden anymore it seems.

I wish bitches quit being insecure about shit.  If you like dick (or clits if the case may be) just be you; don’t have a ‘holiday’ be your excuse to dress down.  If you feel comfortable dressing a certain way then let you be you.

It’s like people who always have sex in the bedroom and no other room in the house.  Once a month.  In the same position.  In under 20 minutes.

…or less.

Chickies, stop making excuses for wearing th fishnets and micro mini skirt or the ass-less chaps.  If you aren’t comfortable with YOU, you may as well toss in the towel right now.

Whether you go home alone and wash your face of make-up or home with a partner and your “clothes” end up on the floor like a prom dress and you’re face down ass up – dress the way YOU want to dress and do it smartly.


…and Thank You.

P.S.  On the same note, please ladies be FRIGGIN’ SMART when you’re out.

  • DO NOT Drink beyond comprehension.

Watch you ass because not all your ‘friends’ are good friends.

Cocktail Condoms & Common Sense

Please forgive me people; it’s been a long 4 days and my eyes need toothpicks like Fred Flintstone…

I remember seeing this post from Jess last summer and thought I should breathe life into it here in the Midwest.  Enjoy and check out her position on your side of the bar. (She’s retired from bartending.)

…cocktail waitress Karri Cormican and bartendress Hannah Bridgeman-Oxley … thwarted a potential rapist who tried to drug his date’s beer. Twice. The waitress spotted the first incident when her female customer was in the restroom. Rather than pretend it was none of her business, she fed the couple a line about the beer being bad and promptly replaced it with a clean one (saving the adulterated beer for the cops). As the waitress was privately informing the woman outside about what had happened, the bartender caught him doing it again. This time they called the cops. The guy’s been sentenced to a year in jail.

The woman, of course, was lucky that her hostesses were 1) paying attention and 2) felt an obligation to act. As this instance demonstrates, not every date rape case is the result of drunken stupidity a lá Girls Gone Wild (note: if you’re ever in a bar that has actual signs posted on “How to Avoid Having Your Drink Drugged,” that’s probably not a bar you want to spend time in. And yes, I actually saw this sign in a bar once).

Which is all just to say:

Bartenders, pay attention! Your job doesn’t end at mixing drinks and handing out change. You have an obligation to try your best to maintain a safe environment for your guests.
And drinkers, pay attention! Don’t rely on others to save your ass; drink smart and make sure you’re not opening yourself up to opportunists.

If we each took a little responsibility, we could probably prevent a lot of unsavory crap from going down, and you’d never need to utter the words “I’ll take a pack of cocktail condoms” again.

Jess Sand:

History repeats itself like a broken (court) record

Hold onto your boot straps (or bed sheets) people; this is a long one. Hooked up with my home skillet today and we collaborated some info.

First off, if anyone has information on how, when and why Stoughton got rid of Greg Leck and then why McFarland picked him up please share the wealth…

Title: Chief Gregory Leck
Position:  2nd Vice President of the McFarland Police Department

His office:
5915 Milwaukee Street
McFarland, WI 53558
Ph: 608-838-3151
Fax: 608-838-7954

What he looks like:

Free Image Hosting at

Found this interesting as well:

Image Hosted by

Seems like this isn’t the 1st time the Village has had issues with the public –

From the website:

“I hereby demand that the Village of McFarland immediately provide me with a complete electronic copy of the current Codes and Ordinances of the Village of McFarland, Wisconsin.

That document has and does exist, either/both in a previously existing electronic file and/or in a file(s) generated for the purpose of launching the re-codification, both of which are subject to requirement to provide under the Open Records Law, etc.”

From Capital Times, Fri Jul 30 1999:  

“Since then, the Rings say McFarland police have made unreasonably frequentdrive-bys and walk-throughs of the ballroom.

“And it’s always on Friday night, never any other time,” said Don Ring.

Officers have also made bigoted remarks and threatened to close him down,said Ring.

Ring said one officer told him, “We’re sick and tired of these people.They’re a nightmare — they don’t even speak English. We’re thinking about closing you down.”

McFarland Police Chief Greg Leck denies that his officers are harassing theRings or their customers. Police attention in the form of drive-bys andwalk-throughs is routine for the area where the ballroom is located, withseveral establishments selling alcohol near one another, said Leck.”


By:  Dee J. Hall of the Wisconsin State Journal Thursday, July 29, 1999

“…But Don Ring said he believes it’s discrimination, pure and simple. Since the police crackdown began, Ring said, the crowds coming to hear a DJ play salsa and merengue music have gone from roughly 400 people to 100.

But it wasn’t until earlier this year when the ballroom began riding thewave of the Latin music craze that the troubles with the McFarland PoliceDepartment began, the Rings say.  Since April, the ballroom has been cited twice, and several Hispanic patrons have gotten tickets, in what the Rings and a Madison attorney say are questionable actions by the McFarland Police.

“We’ve been in business for 30 years, and we’ve never had a ticket foranything,” Flo Ring said. “We can really feel it’s discrimination against the Hispanics.”

Added Don Ring: “They’re definitely prejudiced — I can tell you that.”

Full Story Link: BALLROOM ACUSSES COPS OF RACISM: Police Deny Owners’ Claims Of Bias Against Hispanics

So…  It’s just “hip hop” music huh?


{More to come (I’m sure)}

Your comments/thoughts below?

Blazing Saddles ride again in ye old Mc Farland

I saw Def Crew was playing at Con Safos so I got on the horn, called MY crew and told one of my favorite bartenders, my home skillet, Miss China Moon that I was coming in to her abode this evening, and to have one of her famous drink specials ready.  She chuckles…

We all get there and I see exactly what I want, a hug from Izzy and China’s grinning holding up a bottle of Bacardi.  “I saw you come in.  The Dominican Goddess has your name on it mami.”  I tell her I’m still hooked on those Reggaeton Rainbows and 3 Legged Monkey from the past couple weeks. Time to get up, flirt and shake my groove thang!

The shows going well and the crowd is hyped up on the music; at about 12:30 or so I hop down from my bar stool as I’m about to call it a night because I’ve got a 2 jobs to report to tomorrow/today.  One of the owners comes in and whispers to China, by the look of her face and the statement, “why?  what for?” I know this can’t be good…”  China steps back, puts down the bottles she had been about to serve, turns the bar lights up and walks over to Angela, leaning in and spoke in a low voice.  The chain of upset and confused looks continued as the bar manager came behind and asked why the lights were on as of course it wasn’t time for Last Call.

I get back up on my stool and wait.  China tells the up and coming patrons that she missed last call and is no longer serving alcohol.  No one really frets or objects, but she looks at me and gives me a head nod to follow her around by the kitchen door.

We’re speaking when who walks in?  Two of the most Barney Fife looking mugs I’ve ever seen in my life.  I swear, a couple McFarland cops with their hands on their hips/guns like they were walking into Who Knows Where. I know they were in Shock and Awe when they saw all those white folks in there.

They must be REALLY bored out there because evidently what happened was the owners came in from that long ass mtg at the village and not 10 mins later, the cops show up just to see if they could catch them fucking up.

Whoa …  I  mean if some people don’t want to be around people of color why don’t they stop tanning and move to, to, wait, “them coloreds are ALL OVER the place! (banjo music playing in the background…)

I wonder if the board in making their 3 hour decision realize that they just eliminated the income of some really good people.

Four:  The number of women bar tenders working some night shifts in this tough economy to help make ends meet.  (and no they are NOT all single mothers having a tribe of children.

I guess no ones talking about the stabbing and people being punched out and falling in the water in other McFarland bars on Exchange St., Erling Ave, Sigglekow, Hwy 51 and Larson Beach Rd…

45 – 90 day suspension; hmmm just long enough to bring them to the brink of closing without looking like the bad guys to the public (vs. revoking it completely.)  I’m sure this is just what chief Lick Nuts/Leck needed to get his dick rock hard and all this attention will allow him to purchase a new set of tweezers to pull it out with the set of balls he’s missing…

I see from the comments that people really think.  Don’t tell me it’s the music being played there one night a week, or that it’s Old School or Marcy and the Highlights on Sundays or Zumba people or the Salsa/Banda heads, etc.

Just be honest with us and above all, be honest with yourselves.

I told China to apply at my job or a couple others for tending bar @ night, they’d love to have her and her crew around no matter what color they are or what music they listen to.  I don’t know how her and her beau bought a house out there.

Comments Welcome as always…