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*bam-bam-bam* Excuse me; can I get some service?!?

I want to take this time to say Thank You to my loyal patrons and customers who thoroughly enjoy my cocktails, talking with me, and coming into this establishment.  It’s great to have an adult conversation with an adult and to see your smiling faces when you approach the bar for your favorite relaxing beverage (be it cocktail or mocktail) I appreciate you.

Now having said that; there are those times when the people who come through the door are the complete opposite.

Look, I get it.  I was in my 20’s once; I’ve been there although not to the extent some of you take it.

It’s Friday or Saturday night; you’re with your buddies/girlfriends; and, it’s been a long week.  Time to relax, get ripped or fucked up.  Really, I get it.

I see you. I know you see that I see you.  You’re here EVERY week but you’ve learned nothing.  So let me give you a few hints NYU and UW-Madison college students that will make you better bar customers until you grow and learn how to handle your liquor…

  • You order the SAME beer/drink EVERY week.  You already KNOW the price – so quit asking us “how much is it?” when we bring you all your orders.  It’s $6 and you ordered 5; aren’t you a math major? (So good to see tax dollars at work…)
  • Stop leaving us coinage on the bar without folding money.  If you ordered 5 drinks, $1.50 in quarters left on the bar will definitely ensure you wait an extra 20 for your next drink when you return up to us.
  • *bam-bam-bam*  “Excuse me; can I get some service?!?”  Do we come to your job, scream at you, call you names and slam our hands (repeatedly) on your desk to get your attention?  Then don’t do it here.
  • Eye contact.  If we give it to you and you return it that means you’re ready to order.  You’re ENTIRE party is ready to order and NOBODY has to turn around a scream, “hey Becky, what’d you want again?”
  • Money.  Dinero.  Cheddar.  Whatever you call it, have it ready, waiting and in your hand.  Don’t know how much it costs? Have extra ready just in case.  This what us Bartender don’t understand, you all get angry when we ‘take too long’ but you all do the same damn thing.  We take your order, prepare it, give you a bev nap or coaster and set it in front of you, and only THEN do you decide to dig in your wallet/big ass purse for the cash.
  • When you’re at the drive thru at McDonald’s or Wendy’s or White Castle and you order your food, you proceed to Window #1 to pay and Window #2 for the order.  Same concept applies here.  When your order is taken, give us the full order and when we come back – pay us.  Do NOT proceed to continue to add on drinks when we come back with your order or change – by bar law when people are waiting YOU now have to wait your turn once again.
  • What’s that?  You say you’ve been waiting 15 minutes for a couple of drinks?  Let’s assess the situation…  Did you have your order ready last time?  Were you boisterous and obnoxious about the rail/well drink special you complained wasn’t strong enough?  Did you tip?

Reflect on that…

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About Tales from the Bar Side

Tales from the Bar Side: Lady who tends bar at brick and mortar bars and in private pour practice events.

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