Cocktail Condoms & Common Sense

Please forgive me people; it’s been a long 4 days and my eyes need toothpicks like Fred Flintstone…

I remember seeing this post from Jess last summer and thought I should breathe life into it here in the Midwest.  Enjoy and check out her position on your side of the bar. (She’s retired from bartending.)

…cocktail waitress Karri Cormican and bartendress Hannah Bridgeman-Oxley … thwarted a potential rapist who tried to drug his date’s beer. Twice. The waitress spotted the first incident when her female customer was in the restroom. Rather than pretend it was none of her business, she fed the couple a line about the beer being bad and promptly replaced it with a clean one (saving the adulterated beer for the cops). As the waitress was privately informing the woman outside about what had happened, the bartender caught him doing it again. This time they called the cops. The guy’s been sentenced to a year in jail.

The woman, of course, was lucky that her hostesses were 1) paying attention and 2) felt an obligation to act. As this instance demonstrates, not every date rape case is the result of drunken stupidity a lá Girls Gone Wild (note: if you’re ever in a bar that has actual signs posted on “How to Avoid Having Your Drink Drugged,” that’s probably not a bar you want to spend time in. And yes, I actually saw this sign in a bar once).

Which is all just to say:

Bartenders, pay attention! Your job doesn’t end at mixing drinks and handing out change. You have an obligation to try your best to maintain a safe environment for your guests.
And drinkers, pay attention! Don’t rely on others to save your ass; drink smart and make sure you’re not opening yourself up to opportunists.

If we each took a little responsibility, we could probably prevent a lot of unsavory crap from going down, and you’d never need to utter the words “I’ll take a pack of cocktail condoms” again.

Jess Sand:


13 Double Shots of Cognac

I enjoy wearing some risqué clothing to tend bar, not all the time but some.  It’s fun for me and generates conversation from many and glares from many more [females].

Tending bar and watching late night people in the restaurant, you can watch the transformation of sober people slip into a drunken stupor.  Looking back on my personal college and bar hopping days, we got toasted but NOTHING like what I see working or when I’m out at a club myself.

It was to the point I had to sit back and say was I THAT bad?!?  A handful of times I’ve thought I was going to die because I was hallucinating that my liver was lying next to me crying…

When I turned 21, I happened to be in Madison WI and hit up this club called The Cardinal Bar.  When I began my club hopping days, my Momma told me and my girlfriends to always Stay Together.  Always do ‘The Group Thang.’  Remember to watch what you wear, watch your back and watch out for each other.  None of that, “I’m leaving with so-and-so”.”  Tell “Jimmy Mack” or whomever you’ll see them later.

Please keep in mind my main focus wasn’t the alcohol at that time (that came later), it was the dancing and interacting with other 20 somethings.

It’s suicide by default Ladies if you’re not watching yourselves and get so inebriated that you don’t know where you are, where you live and how you’re going to get there.  That drunk driving shit is seriously OUT OF ORDER.  Not to mention you all going to the club in a group and not giving a fuck about anything after the fishbowl you shared.

I remember throwing a house party with my roommates and doing 13 double shots of cognac and dancing on our pool table, going into my room and tossing myself on the bed, sitting up because my head was spinning, trying to remember if I ate before I drank.  Then throwing up. Violently. All over the bed.  And the floor.  And myself.  Ewww.  I don’t care how good you look; that shit ain’t cute…

Although I was around friends I knew and trusted, I learned (VERY QUICKLY) never to do that again.

You CAN wear what you want, when you want.  But know you CAN NOT control certain things when you’re not thinking; be prepared that dressed in nothing but that scrumptious dental floss two piece, that someone may want to suckle on your goodies.  If you’re going to dress hot, you better be able to handle the heat of the city.  Mr Right Now could smile in your face inside the club and then beat, rape and fillet you just the same.

…and know this – lately, Madison WI is a cold, cold place.

STOP staggering out, drunk and leaving with random {those you don’t know personally} people.

STOP drinking until you fall and lay on that nasty ass bathroom floor.

Stop.  Look. & Listen.

You may learn something from us Native NYers; maybe us being “arrogant,” “mean” and “bitchy East Coast ass holes” comes in handy @ times…

Here’s an excerpt from Rob the Bouncer’s Blog:

“[My father]…taught her [my sister] how to keep her guard up. To not put herself in situations where she was subject to the whims of the living dead who troll the streets of this city looking for a comfortable — willing or no — place to insert their penises.”